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      Nurturing people in the image of God since 1868.                                                                          POB 397/520 Dry Creek Rd./Smithville, TN

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How To Kill Your Youth Group

1. Always ask, "Who else is going?" before you decide if you'll go to an activity. Then you won't be forced to spend time with people you don't know very well or don't won't to be around.

2. Don't go if you don't get anything out of it. After all, the most important thing is that your personal needs are met.

3. Decrease your involvement with the youth group as you get older. Gradually drop out so that by the time you are a senior  you are not expected to go at all.

4. Choose to be as involved in as many other activities that you can. Work, student council, sports, band, and other  extracurricular activities are good excuses for not coming to a church activity.

5. Complain if what you are studying isn't relevant. Ask to study nothing but dating, sex, substance abuse and other teen problems and act bored if you're studying about Jesus, God or the church.

6. Never try to fit in or make anyone feel welcome to the group. Stay in your own clique and don't talk to anyone else. Absolutely do not sit together as a group.

7. Point to hypocrites for your lack of participation. You'll be able to use this rule for the rest of your life. This also  shifts the focus from you onto someone else.

8. Blame your youth minister for everything. Do everything you can to damage his credibility. Then none of the kids will talk to him.

9. Do not tell your parents about youth activities coming up. If they don't know about them then they won't encourage you to go.

10. Never be honest about your relationship to the Lord. That honesty may force you to repent. Just "play" church.

11. Make commitments you don't intend to keep. That way no one will ever depend on you for anything important.

12. Ignore any guilt you may feel over doing any of these things. It might make you change, so cover it up or ignore it

For His Cause,
Tim Woodward